On waiting, exams, and moving out

I officially hate OSCEs - the anxious feeling that gets your heart palpitating, makes you forget to breathe, and slows your brain to a snail's crawl, all before the real start of the exam. And when the exam really starts, everything's amplified, resulting in a lot of forgotten information, abandoned structure, and a whole lot of "erms" and "arrs". It's small consolation that everyone (hopefully!) feels the same way as you do too, so the performance level would be roughly similar.

Waiting's awful too, and its awful-ness is amplified with waiting for OSCEs to arrive. Unable to revise or get anything else into my brain (which seemed strangely empty of content) I was at a loss for what to do. Thankfully my darling violin, the dependable piano and internet music and BBC iPlayer helped distract me.

(Somehow my tolerance for OSCEs has decreased over the 5-odd years I've been taking them, perhaps exponentially to the weight of the exams! Or maybe it's age... either way it doesn't bode well for the next set of OSCEs I need to do.)

For reasons only known to my unconscious I was up at 7 am today, and have been spending time trying to organise my room in preparation for moving out. So far, I have a foot of notes to look through/condense/throw away, and a lot of things that I'm loathe to toss out. I'd thought I'd be able to be objective, but sadly, each thing does hold some kind of significance, even my old violin case that's been standing in the corner for over a year now. Moving out is going to be a logistics acrobatic routine.

So it's another move, another gulp of air in between phrases of my song. I'm quite weary of moving already, but it seems that it's going to be a feature of my uncertain future, so I better get used to that idea! And not buy too much stuff... again...