1st full week

The weekend - a precious time to stock up on food, water and oxygen, or to make up the deficits run up during the week.

And for now, a great time to enjoy the sun! :)

Work has been a scramble to get on top of things. Everytime I think I have, something new pops up to remind me otherwise. The learning curve is steep indeed, but we're slowly working our way over it. I am liking it (and I grin to myself when this thought flits through my mind as I race to do another random job)- the busyness, the activity etc. I don't think I could do a proper sit-down job, so this suits me for now.

I've been marking survival success as the number of death-free days working in the hospital, but since Friday I have to find another way. I did my first death certification that day, feeling solemn and sad and slightly ludicrous as I went through the motions of finding life on this woman, whose skin had already taken on the blue sheen of death. It only served to drive home the reality of the job - we walk on the line between life and death, and we need to sharpen those skills that help us navigate between the two. This lady was on her way over the line, yet she had clung to the hope that she would improve. On another ward, a man with an encouraging prognosis but slow recovery was giving up hope, and it was hard to find the words to boost his fighting spirit.

Med school, even with its communication skills teaching and increased ward exposure, can only do so much to prepare us for the job. It's only with hands-on experience do we really learn what's needed, and learn to like or hate what we do.